Thinking
by rachel is my girl
Summary: I think is going to be a story that I will update every now and then, when i get writer's block on my other multi-chapter story, Foreve? LILEY!
1. dont

**A/N okay second chapter and you find out about lilly idk how this fits in but its song-fic-ish lol feeling better but i dedicate this to my friend eliZabeth not eliSabeth see the difference between the z and the s? well i havent seen Elizabeth since 7th grade when i moved but i saw her last weekend and she was HOT! lol dont tell lis. well i dont want to bother you with my life story :) **

**DISCLAIMER i dont own hannah, miley, lilly, emiley, lola or any thing else. and i dont own the song dont. **

**lilly's POV**

**You look at me,**

**Like you always do.**

Miley looks at me confused. "What cha talking bout Lilly? I'm your best friend I love you and you know it,"

**You don't have a smile at me,**

**You hug me,**

**But you don't know I want you.**

"Can I have a hug?" I ask innocently. You smile and hug me. Then go home.

"God how I want you." I say.

**You play with me,**

"You're it!" You say tagging me out of nowhere and I chase you.

**You flirt with me,**

"Please?" you say batting your eyelashes.

"Fine," I say handing my shoes to you. "You can borrow them."

**You tell me all your secrets.**

"I'm Hannah Montana,"

**I'm always the one you run to, **

**but to you I'm just your friend.**

"Jake is such a jerk!" you yell coming over to my house with tears in your eyes. I comfort you but then you say the words I dread to hear. "You're such a great friend Lilly."

**Don't say I love you,**

"I love you,"

"Don't, Miley."

**Don't say you need me,**

"But I need you."

"Miley I said don't,"

**Don't say I trust you,**

**My heart cant take it.**

"I trust you Lilly."

"I can't take it. My heart cant take it!"

**Don't say you want me,**

"I want you Lilly,"

**Don't say you miss me,**

We are talking on the phone when you say those three words. "I miss you."

**Don't hurt me**

**don't say you love me.**

"I love you Lils, I'm your best friend, duh."

"Don't hurt me,"

**I try my best to rid these thoughts,**

**Of you and I it's so hard.**

"Hi Matt." I say and Matt kisses me.

**When you come to me, **

**I fall back on my knees.**

"Miley, what are you doing here?"

**I learned to hate love.**

"I HATE LOVE!" I scream.

**You kiss me on the cheek,**

**You say you'd never make it without me.**

You kiss me. On the cheek it may be but still you kiss me then you say it. "I'll never make it without you Lils."

**It's getting harder everyday.**

**please don't say to me,**

**Don't say I love you,**

**Don't say you need me,**

**Don't say I trust you,**

**My heart can't take it **

**don't say you want me,**

**Don't say you miss me,**

**Don't hurt 't say you love**

**don't say you love me**

**don't say you love me**

**don't say you love me **

**don****'t say you love me.**

_Dear diary _

_It's getting harder I know. Miley keeps say those things. I say 'don't say I love you, don't say you need me, don't say I trust you, My heart cannot take it. Don't say you want me, don't say you miss me. But most of all don't say I love you.' _

**My heart cant take it.**

"My heart can't take it." I whisper.

**I love you so much.**

"I love you so much." I whisper I had not known at the time you where near me.

**But you don't see me.**

"But you don't see me." I whisper once more. At this time Miley is standing behind me. Me not knowing still.

**I hate love.**

"I HATE LOVE!" I shout scaring Miley.

**Don't say I love you,**

**Don't say you need me,**

**Don't say I trust you,**

**Unless you mean it**

**don't say you want me,**

**Don't say you need me,**

**Don't hurt me.**

"Unless you mean it. don't say I love you, don't say you need me, don't say I trust you, don't say you want me, don't say you need me, don't hurt me." I say.

**No...Don't say I love you,**

**Don't say you need me,**

**Don't say I trust you,**

**My heart cant take it **

**don't say you want me,**

**Don't say you miss me,**

**Don't hurt 't say you love me.**

"Don't Miley just don't," I whisper.


	2. plane

**A/N okay third chapter. kinda off topic but i lost my voice and cant sing. **

**disclaimer. meh look at the last chapter**

**Miley's POV,**

_flashback_

"_Miley, I said don't," Lilly whispered._

"_I love you Lilly, and I trust you." I whispered._

"_I TOLD YOU I FUCKING CAN'T TAKE IT! I HATE LOVE!" She screamed I held her in my arms. "I hate love." She whispered._

"_No you don't." I whispered rocking her back and forth as she fell slowly to the ground people stare but I didn't care. _

"_Miley do you mean it?" She asked._

"_No." I say. "Not like that." I say, and didn't mean it at the time. _

_End flashback_

Now it's two years later and me and Lilly are 18 we are still best friends. Even though the incident on that day nearly ruined our friendship. Right now we are in my living room me sitting on the couch with her sitting between my legs we're watching a movie and I'm thinking back because as I watch Lilly breathe I feel a, funny feeling in my stomach. And then it just hits me. I love her.

"Lilly, I have a question," I ask she turns around.

"Yea ask away," Lilly says sitting Indian style.

"Do you still love me?" I ask and she looks shocked but bounces back.

"No why?" She asks. Dang.

"Just wondering," I say turning back to the TV. She shrugs and turns back around back into her original position.

Two days later find me and Lilly, dressed as Lola and Hannah, on my jet going to New York.

**A/N short chapter and kinda confusing but you all love me right? And it has a cliff hanger.**


	3. CRASH!

**A/N- okay so I was at a dance don't blame me! And it turns out EliZabeth, with a Z, transferred to my school! Oh gosh and she was there! EliSabeth, with a S, was there and EliZabeth, w/ a Z, doesn't know im a lesbian! But I didn't stay long so…. Dances just aint my scene and I just hate Valentines day. Oh and I'm sorry if you don't like it but I hurt them…… NOT ELIZABETH AND ELISABETH! OKAY?!?!!? Oh and idk why it deleted the first chapter! Oh gosh I love you fanfiction but you piss me off sometimes!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own it!!!!!!!**

**Miley's POV**

Okay so me and Lilly have been on the plane for about an hour. And she's talking but I'm to busy staring at her. I decide to tune in.

**Lilly's POV.**

"And then Oliver falls down on the sand," I say laughing Miley starts laughing. Her laugh is the best thing since chocolate I don't know why I said I didn't like her anymore.

"He's such a donut!" She says then we hear a boom.

"Please stay calm!" The flight attendant says. I hit my head as I was not wearing my seatbelt before I lose consciousness I hear my name. "Lilly!"

**Miley's POV.**

I see Lilly hit her head. There's a big gash on the side of her head. The plane is crashing I know we both will die. Then I feel my head get hit too and I loose consciousness also.

**Lilly's POV**

I wake up. No one is here in this section but a girl. So I get up and climb through a crack in the plane. I have no idea where I am. But my head hurts a little. I walk for I don't know for how long. As I arrive at a hotel I look in my pocket and find a wallet I pull out two Identification's one says Lola Luffangle this one has blue hair and the other says Lilly Truscott this one has blonde hair. Their faces look alike I look at my hair. Blue. So I am Lola. 'Kay, I look some more. 5,000 bucks plus credit cards. Okay yea I think that's enough for a room.

I walk in and people stare at me. I strut up to the front desk. "Excuse me I would like a room. For about three nights." I say the lady looks up and gaps at me. "Hello-o?"

"You-you're Lola Luffangle. Hannah Montana's best friend." She stutters.

"No, I don't know who Hannah Montana is. But I'm sure she's nice. Can I please have a room though?" I say confused.

"Oh I'm sorry you just look like her friend. Did you know they were in a plane crash? Yeah. And they couldn't find Lola's body." She says. "Well welcome to the Timpton Hotel. I'm Maddie Timpton wife of London Timpton. One room for three days? That'll be 500 dollars." I hand her the credit card. "ID please." I hand her the Lilly one. She looks at it then me. "Your natural hair is blonde?" She asks.

"Yea, I dyed it but I may dye it back soon." I say making up an excuse.

"Oh I see," She mumbles then hands me a card. "here's your key card Miss Truscott. You're in room 113 floor 13 'kay? If you need anything call the front desk. Oh and also is your head okay that looks like a pretty bad cut you got there."

"Yea I um I fell at the skate park. I just refuse to go to the hospital." I say. Hey I remember skating.

"Okay, thank you for choosing at the Timpton hotel." she says and I see she notices my lack of luggage. I don't care. I take the elevator, and people still stare but I ignore them once I get to my room I turn on the TV. Oh great news, oh wait.

"Yesterday at 7 AM Hannah Montana's privet jet crashed into the empire state building and Hannah's best friend Lola Luffangle was reportedly missing. Here's Hannah." the guy said then it shows a blonde girl. When I saw her it all came rushing back to me I pull off my wig, that's Miley. The love of my life. She's crying. She says something that she normally will be yelling at me for doing.

"I saw Lillydie she was beside me and, and she had a big cut on the side of her head, oh god then I got hit in the head and passed out but I don't have a scratch on me. Oh god, Lilly she was missing when I woke up at twelve in the hospital," Miley says crying.

"Wait I thought her name was Lola?

I turn off the TV at this point. "Miley," I whisper. "Miley you're gonna blow your secret,"

Then I walk into the bathroom to check my forehead, hmmm Maddie was right. I grab the first aid kit that was in the cupboard and take out some gauze, some medical tape, and some peroxide. I pick up a washrag and put some peroxide on it. I dab it on my cut.

"OW!" I scream then screech as I do it again. A few minutes later someone's knocking at my door.

"Hello? Are you okay in there?" the voice asks. "I got a call that someone was screaming." I think it sounds like Maddie. I had put my wig on my bed. I run to the bedroom with the first aid kit and put on my wig.

"You-you can come in," I say breathing heavily. I was right it was Maddie but someone's with her. It must be London.

"Oh Maddie you were right," She whispers.

"I can hear you and plus my head ain't that bad." I say, then I wince because a small pain went through it.

"It's not that but I meant that you look just like Hannah's friend Lola, but she's missing or dead." Who I think is London says.

"London! You know Miley's going through a hard time." Maddie says smacking London's arm. I was right, but poor Miley. Wait. She knows?"How do you know?" I ask.

"Know what?" Maddie asks confused.

"About the Miley slash Hannah thing." I say now I want to know why they know.

"The question is how do you know?!" Maddie asks walking closer to me.

"Cause I am Lola, well technically Lilly," I say taking off my wig, they gasp. "But don't tell anyone not even Miley,"

"okay, but why?" Maddie asks.

"Because, because, well I don't know! But my gut is telling me no one can know!" I say after thinking. "But right now I need to fix my head." Once I say that Maddie picks up the blood-covered rag.

"Let me I'm trained in this kind of stuff" she starts to dab at my forehead a I wince. "Lilly how'd you get here?" she asks

"I walked," I respond.

"Well yea, but why did you leave?" Maddie asks.

"My gut told me not to stay. And I didn't have much memory. But don't worry I got it back." I say.

"Do you always listen to your gut?" London asks.

"Yea." I say wincing, Maddie stops.

"You may need stitches, London call Raven, she's a doctor." Chelsea says.

"NO!" I say. They looked shocked.

"Why?" London asks.

"Just because." I say.

"Is it because of Miley?" Maddie asks.

"Yes. I love her. But she CAN'T know. And no one can know I'm alive!" I say.

"Oh, I see. Well we won't tell, neither will Raven. Raven is also a friend of Miley's." Maddie says.

**A/N I'm tired it's like 12 although my clock is a little off… so goodnight have a great time with the cliffhanger!!!! (: OH YEA BEATLES RULE!!!!! LOL kinda random but a song just came on my i-pid.... (that's how i pronounce it) well it's called come together. i feel so old but i'm only 18... lol im an oldies kinda girl so dont blame me but anyways you dont wanna read this do you? noooooo you dont so enjoy it!!!**


	4. Miley's veiw on things

**A/N Okay dont blame me! fanfiction was having technical difficulties!!! soooo I could not sign on it wouldnt let me :(**

**DISCLAIMER DON'T OWN **

**Miley's POV**

I went to the first concert since_ Her_ death/disappearance. I haven't sung since god knows when, and I need to warm up. Also, I've been not talking and crying. So just imagine my voice, all scratchy and not used. But I sang just fine, as long as I kept my mind off of her...

Hannah's fans didn't care, they were just glad she's back. They don't care that I had lost my best friend and crush.

I looked out into the crowd before my last song and-

I see Lilly. I shake my head, no Lilly's dead. Plus this girl has BLACK hair not BLOND, so I think I'm going crazy. I look into the girl's eyes and she stares back at me then all the sudden she turns and runs out of the stadium. I know I'm crazy for doing this but, I jump off the stage and run through the crowd. Roxie, Jared, and Oliver, my main body guards, follow me and try to keep people away from me while shouting for me to come back. I'm running through the crowd, and when I get outside into the rain I see the girl run down the street. Then I hear Roxie yell.

"HANNAH! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!?!!?!" Just then I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, and I look back at where the girl is and she looks me in my eyes, I gasp, her eyes are such an intense color of blue, Like Lilly's. I run towards her again and I hear Roxie mutter, 'sweet niblets' and she runs after me, I follow the girl until she turns, and I trip. I can feel the hot tears running down my face, mingling with the cold rain. I turn towards Roxie who was helping me stand. "What's wrong?" She asks, I have no idea how she knows I'm crying. I mean come on it's raining.

"That girl," I pause as I see Roxie get into a defensive stance then I quickly start talking again. "Sh-she l-looked j-j-j-just l-l-like Lilly, a-an-and I w-w-was stupid-d an-and ch-chased h-her-r," I stutter, my tears falling and mingling with the rain. I'm sobbing like a young child who fell and scraped their knee.

"Oh baby girl I know it's hard, but you just can't jump off the stage running into the crowd," She says. I nod. "I had texted Oliver and he's coming 'round with the car," She said. And everything is a blur from there.

Next thing I know I'm awake with cold sweat falling down my back and tears falling down my face. It was one of those dreams about Lilly again. I never told her I loved her. Now it's haunting me. I don't know the whole story, 'cause, well I was knocked out. I don't see why the plane crashed and why Lilly couldn't be found. I miss her too much. Well I should tell you what happened in my dream.

It was dark, and I could hear Lilly singing. She has gotten much better since the eighth grade, I know that. But the lyrics I don't understand. Like it's in a different language, but I can't see her. Then she starts talking to me.

"Miley, I still love you. I was going to tell you that but, the plane crashed." I hear her say. I try to talk but nothing comes out. The crash replays before me. Just like always. Only now it shows Lilly dieing, you know like knife in the back kind of dieing not getting hit in the head. I don't like it. This is about where I wake up.

It scares me. To know that Lilly won't be here when I wake up, that Hannah won't have Lola beside her. Everyone tries to comfort me but I don't talk much anymore. I just can't stand to think of her. I just can't.

Jamie tries but I just ignore her. And all of my family and friends for that fact. I decide to take it out on my guitar and I have my song book next to me. I strum the strings and the lyrics just come out.

"I think I know now,  
That waiting ain't gonna help,  
And I think, 'God, how I miss yo.'  
Oh how you seem to be everywhere,  
Just there.  
Never really.  
Moving on is hard.

Never had time to say,  
'I love you' and mean it.  
Never had time to tell you,  
'I need you,' and you actually hear it.  
Never will I love you like you hated me.  
Never will I have time to come to your house.  
Never will I loath having to hide my feelings,  
Never will I hate myself for feeling this way.  
And I think, 'Why did I let her go?'  
But waiting ain't gonna help,  
My oh my why did I let you go?  
And why did I have to see you leave?  
Why did you toy with my head?

And carelessness just ain't an excuse,  
But you left and there ain't gonna be a next time.  
This'll be the worst thing to happen in my life time,  
Since god knows when,  
And I loved you but,  
Gosh how I'd loved you,  
An internal fight,  
Between, me and my beliefs,  
My parents beliefs," I sing. and I'm surprised, I haven't even wrote two lines of a song that fast. And that's half a song. I hurry and write the lyrics and notes down.

I lay down on my bed and cry myself to sleep.......

**A/N i know i know!!! you guys missed me!!! :) but yea Jamie is in this story too :) shes a girl version of Ollie. but Oliver's in this one but as a body guard!! lol dont ask me 'what's that song called.' cause i wrote it myself!! as you can see it ain't finnished. so yea it started out as a poem and it turned into a song lol. *mumbles something about a notebook** WHERE IS IT!?!!?!?!? IT WAS JUST ON MY DESK!!! urgggg oh yea! lis has it...... lol wellllll ima go for now. just leting you guys kno im still alive! ;)**


End file.
